I'll Be Ready In Five Minutes: Amsterdam and the Naughty Supperclub

I have FINALLY returned to my blog and I couldn't be happier!! And I am most excited to relive my European adventures and share them with all of you!

We landed in Amsterdam in the wee hours of the morning, but having slept most of the flight, we were raring to go explore the city!

It struck me as quite embarrassing how little I knew about the city of Amsterdam, but walking around in those first few hours, it was easy to fall instantly in love...

The many canals that run through the heart of the city give it such a romantic feel...

One of my favorite parts about traveling to Europe is the people watching/ cafe culture and Amsterdam was no different!

The Dutch people are some of THE friendliest Europeans I have ever met! Everyone was so eager to help us when we needed it, or even just chat. And as noted by this funny little sign, nearly everyone spoke English! So being a tourist was easy peasy...

I think "Straat" is "Street"; All the street names sounded so funny to us. Germanic languages with all their consonants sound like gibberish compared to the Romantic languages I am used to hearing...

I also LOVED the architecture... The Dutch houses jut up right against the canals and have the most charming, gabled facades! I kept exclaiming that I felt like I was walking around a little dollhouse city :)

After much walking around, we decided it was time to find a bite to eat and officially cheers to being in Europe together with what else? Champagne, duh!

Some cute little Dutch peeps... :)

Spotted this sign and snapped a pic for OBVIOUS reasons... #SheebForLife

After our lunch, we scurried home for a quick nap and a regroup in preparation for our big night...

I had made reservations for us at SupperClub, a sort of quirky dining "experience", where you eat dinner in bed and enjoy various performances. There are a few locations (including San Francisco!) but Amsterdam is the original and I was dyinggg to go!

The door to the place is so nondescript, I didn't even snap a pic! In fact, we would have missed it completely were it not for this subtle sign...

So ring the doorbell, we did!

After checking in with a nearly naked hostess (should've been our first clue!), we were lead to the bar to warm up with some cocktails...

The theme of the bar was "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", so bottles of Veuve were hung in birdcages...

This bottle of Dom glowed in the dark!

Seriously love disco balls... SO. SEVENTIES.

I had a "Grand Ginger", which I swear I loved for more than just the name... I took a photo to remember the ingredients and possible recreate it back home, but perhaps I should have paid more attention to the cocktail underneath it... Clearly it was somewhat of a warning sign for what was to come...

At close to 8, all of us in the bar were led up the stairs to our tables, er, beds...

Some bubbles to kick off the meal!

Each little "table bed" had a tray so you could eat somewhat properly...

Every night at Supperclub is different. The night we went, the theme was "Burlesque". Meet our waitress...

It was a mysterious four course meal, meaning that you really had no idea what you were eating. But all of it was delicious! And burlesque performances provided entertainment between the courses...

What do you suppose she's got on under those feathers, eh?

Nothing of course!!! This is Supperclub, duh!

I was far too enthralled to take many photos of the first few performances, but I quickly snapped out of it when this guy came along...

He had a creepy darkness about him that I instantly took to (God knows what that says about me...) and I was delighted when he made his way right towards me....

He came so close, I thought he was going to climb into our bed! Instead he dragged an ecstatic me out to give me a rose...

But then he plopped me down into a seat and I had the distinct feeling I was "in for it"...

(From here on out, this post is NSFW!!)

He grabbed my hands and then off came his clothes!!!

I'm smiling here out of 100% pure mortification...

EEEEKS!

The horrified faces of those watching my striptease...

...Aaaaand my parting gift...

As you can imagine, Ian was less than enthused with my involvement in the show and immediately asked for a shots menu when I returned to the table bed...